April 13, 2013
Dear Kaya –
This is Rachel Emberger
Harvieux, your mom’s really good friend from River Falls. I have known your mom since we were
about your age, and we have been having adventures ever since. I have known you since you were born,
and have been able to watch you grow when I have come to visit you, your mom,
and your dad.
I’m writing this letter because
your dad left this earth two days ago. I
don’t know how many memories you will have of your dad when you get older. I wanted to record some memories I
witnessed so you can have a sense of who he was and how much he loved you. I hope this will bring your comfort
during the moments of your life, now and in the future, when you feel this
void.
I spent time with your
parents when they were pregnant with you.
Your dad always had a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face when
talking about what it was going to be like to meet you. Since I had two kids at the time, we
talked about the many challenges parenthood would bring. While he admitted he wasn’t quite sure
how to be a parent, he saw it as another adventure that he was excited to learn
about and share with your mom.
When you were five years
old, one of the worst things that has ever happened to me happened – I broke
your arm! I’m hoping you don’t
remember too much about it and you told me your forgave me, but obviously, I
still feel horrible about it.
Sorry Kaya, but I will never play airplane ride with you again!!!! Anyway, when your dad heard about what
happened, he left the class he was teaching immediately and came home to see
how you were doing. After
snuggling and comforting you, he came to check up on me. Rather than being mad at me, he gave me
a big huge and was worried how I was doing. That first night was pretty rough for you, and he spent the
whole time consoling you when you would wake up. This is the type of compassion and empathy your dad had for
you and for others.
This year’s visit was much
better – no broken arms!!! However
I still have a story to share.
This year when I visited, you were supposed to go to Alta Ski Camp. For many reasons, you just didn’t want
to go. On the way up the mountain,
you got carsick were getting yourself all worked up. Neither your mom nor I could console you. Finally, your mom called in the
reinforcements – your dad, who fortunately was just up the road getting ready
to climb a mountain to make the world safe for the rest of us. He held you and talked to you. He was able to get you to admit that
you were faking being sick because you just really didn’t feel like going. He was able to talk you into giving it
a try. He got you on the
chairlift. Your mom and I followed
along behind you just to make sure you were OK. Soon after you were cruising down the hill and having the
time of your life!
My daughter is the same age
as you are. I can’t imagine what
it would be like for her to not grow up with her daddy. For the rest of your life, you are
going to hear what a great guy your dad was and how he loved you so much. This letter will hopefully provide you with
further evidence of the love I witnessed.
May it bring you comfort.
The light and spirit that shined within him, also shines within you.
I love you and your mom
Kaya. May you find peace.
Rachel
